Keeping Imposter Syndrome at bay…
With a masters degree in HR management, chartered member of CIPD, a qualified Institute of Leadership Management coach and accredited in both insights and C-me psychometric colour profiling tools - there is no doubt that Nicky Carnie of Cognition Coaching is an expert in her field. Nicky takes time out of her busy schedule to tell Women Connect members what imposter syndrome is and how we overcome it.
“You can be top of your class, reach all of your sales targets and exceed your yearly objectives. But sometimes there is an internal voice saying “who does she think she is?” that makes you doubt yourself.
Lewis Capaldi sings in one of his songs [Hold me while you wait] “I wish that I was good enough” and I don’t know about you, but from time to time these words resinate.
Imposter syndrome is a real thing that people at all levels and of all abilities can suffer from. It’s a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a fraud.
During lockdown, my syndrome had been there in the background as I have gone through the rollercoaster of emotions that this global COVID-19 pandemic has created. However, it went into overdrive when I was invited by Adele Slater, Chair of Women Connect, to deliver a presentation for the network. A task that I’ve successfully completed time and time again.
What did I have to offer a (virtual) room full of intelligent, bright and innovative women?
Once I got over my initial fear and reflected on my own experiences, I realised that I had a lot to offer. I realised that my talk didn’t have to be about how wonderful my career is nor full of positive experiences. Life is full of ups and downs and we learn from our mistakes, and sharing these can help others avoid those pitfalls.
The day arrived and as always, the attendees were warm and welcoming - why had I been so worried? We spoke about the pandemic and how it had impacted us, what we were doing differently to continue to be productive, and what the positives we had taken from it, i.e. community spirit, supporting local businesses etc.
I delivered a C-me Taster Session which gave the participants a better understanding of themselves, how we bring a different persona to work (an adapted persona) rather than our true selves (natural persona), revealing that when they’re playing a role, and required to act in a certain way, that this can affect different aspects of their behaviour. This was a real eye opener for some of the attendees. It turned out that some of the most familiar faces, and respected business women in Aberdeen, have a work persona that exudes confidence when deep down they’re shy and introverted.
The importance of a strong network...
That is why it is important to have a strong network behind you. It’s important that we give individuals the skills and the confidence to get their point of view heard, in order to effectively sell themselves.
How do we quieten the voice in our head?
There are some practical ways to keep imposter syndrome at bay, like, read a book, listen to a motivational speaker or simply go for a walk and feel the air in your lungs. There are also some great Ted Talks covering this subject, in particular: Casey Brown – Know your worth and then ask for it; Susan Colantuono – The career advice you probably didn’t get. But having a good coach or mentor who supports and challenges you to believe in yourself and your abilities is a great way to keep imposter syndrome at bay.